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Scarlett thought she would feel better when she left the house with the intention of taking Bernie for a drive as it was something her dog had come to love. At least, he could stick his head out the window and let his tongue hang out. When she found the perfect spot, she took him for a walk and sat quietly trying to clear her head.

But she found it hard to. Right here in this town and she wondered if it was because the thought of Josh being in the same town with her that scared her so much.

She had given in to him two days ago. What if they had been alone?

How was it possible her blood still stirred when he looked at her, held her or kissed her? how could she still feel something for him after 10years?

‘It was probably her.’ she concluded. She got nervous because he was her first love and he’d even confessed he knew nothing about the whole ordeal back in high school.

Well, she could forgive him but she really had to move on without him breathing down her neck.

She closed her eyes and her daydream betrayed her bringing memories of the passionate kiss they’d shared two days before and how strong he felt against her. How his hands had held her head in place and how her flesh had caught fire as he deepened their kiss.

She remembered his boyish look back in highschool and how she’d adored him and her mind drifted again to “what if”…

What if they had been together till date? Would they be married already with a kid like Gavin, or would she even have the strength to keep herself with the way he handled her?

Her mind drifted further to “if they were married.’’ Vacations they’d spend together, nights they could share together, and kids they would raise together. Conversations they could have together just like old times and how she’d love to rake her hands through his thick dark tousled hair.

She snapped out of her day dream and realized how hot she’d become. Oh no, this wasn’t what she’d come here for. she had come to clear her head but it seemed the memory of Josh haunted her and she found it hard to let go.

Standing up immediately, Bernie’s ears perked up in response and he rose to his feet and found his way into her car, taking his position on the passenger’s seat and waiting for Scarlett to start the engine.

It took a while.

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Rea noticed something about her best friend immediately she came back inside and she wondered if the walk did her any good at all.

“you okay?’’

“yea, sure.’’ She tried to smile. ‘’what’s for lunch?’’

“Sue’s get together party is today. How come you’ve forgotten so soon?’’

“my bad.’’ She tried not to feel embarrassed but a little pink had stained her cheeks. Josh had been the one occupying most of her thoughts for a while now.

Rea’s eyebrows cocked automatically. ‘’it seems to me you didn’t get to clear your head afterall’’

“why do you say that?’’

“you don’t look refreshed to me. you look sort of tight and tense, like you’re trying so hard to put it all together.’’

“I’m fine.’’ She managed

Rea bent low to rub Bernie’s head while the big guy wagged his tail and stuck out his tongue in response.

She looked at her friend again. ‘’He kissed you didn’t he?’’

Scarlett blushed red this time. The way Rea had found out before she told her, she couldn’t decipher it but she knew Bernie couldn’t have been the one to reveal her secret

“I didn’t know how to talk to you about it.’’

“well, here I am Scarlett. Talk to me.’’

She settled unto the couch, her hair already growing back in length and looking so disheveled hereby giving her a childish look.

“we were talking and all of a sudden, I don’t know what happened.’’

Rea was quiet.

“you don’t know how much I wish I could have resisted him but everything was just so overwhelming and I…’’

“its okay.’’

“I feel so ashamed. Gabe would never do that to me and here I am, longing for another man’s kiss.’’

“hey, don’t beat yourself over it. you just have to keep away from him. He’s bad news.’’

Scarlett nodded. ‘’okay. I’ve got to. I know I’ve got to.’’

“but you cant deny you still have feelings for him can you?’’

“I don’t. I think its just the fact that everything is happening all at once and 10years and he’s the first guy I’ve ever fallen in love with, but it’s okay. I can handle it.’’

Rea smiled and hugged her friend. ‘’better. Just know that whatever happens, I’m here for you. We can talk together, pray together and do all sorts of crazy stuff that we did together years ago.’’

Scarlett smiled and released herself.  ‘’and you…, what about Ryan? You ready to move on without him?’’

“very much. Sue even tells me she has a cute surprise for me at her parent’s get together.’’ Scar could tell her friend sounded hopeful and she so wanted the best for her.

“let’s hope for the best.’’

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“what is Ryan doing here?’’ Rea squeezed her friend’s fingers in anger that she had excluded this part.

“hey, you’re hurting me!’’

“you didn’t tell me…’’

“well, should I start taking a mental list of names coming forthe little get-together party my parents throw just because my friend Rea is too childish to ignore someone like Ryan?’’

“hey, I’m not childish.’’

“tell that to yourself every morning and I’ll be impressed when you change.’’

“you’re such a pain in the ass!’’

“thank you.’’ Susan smiled sweetly and broke free from Rea’s grip to greet her husband who had been expecting her.

Scar could only smile and beamed when a waiter offered her a finger food on a tray. Sue called out to her and she walked up to the little gathering that she suspected consisted of Her husband, her parents and another young couple.

“Dad, mum, this is Scarlett Ruby. We went to high school together and she’s a counselor and teacher at Sunnydale.’’

“nice to meet you.’’ Mrs Brews gave her a warm hug and kiss on both cheeks before releasing her. ‘’Sue won’t stop talking about you and the amazing things you do with kids.’’

Scar blushed. ‘’oh, its nothing.’’

“and I hope you have been coping well to the environment since you’ve been away for so long?’’ Mr. Brews tried contributing to the conversation.

“yeah, I never got to go round as a kid but now that I have the time,. I can’t wait till school’s session is over so I can get my camera and see places I’ve read about.’’

“wow, such enthusiasm! I love that in a young woman. Sue tells us you’re getting married this Summer. You don’t know how she’s excited to be a wedding planner for your wedding. That’s all she talks about and I wonder if that’s what she feeds her patients.’’

“Mum!’’

“the guy must be a lucky man. Such rare beauty in those eyes.’’ She continued taking her hand and already leading her away for more conversation.

Scar had a feeling this night was going to turn out well after all and couldn’t be more grateful to the two new friends she’d had in just a few weeks she moved to Houston.

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Rea pulled her jacket closer when the wind blew across her face and tried not to feel too much.

Too much thinking made her exhausted and that was the last thing on her to-do list today. She had thought she was going to have a good time and she did, but just a little.

Now she just wanted to be alone.

Most especially when she knew Ryan was in the party and he seemed to be having a good time with the pretty brunette that held unto him like a possession not excluding family and friends while she kept hurting. He would be used to these kinds of gatherings. At least, He had dated Sue in the past and the last time she visited his family, it had been a huge party like this one.

At that moment, she prayed to God to let those feelings of hatred melt and that she just wanted to forgive him and move on with her life.

What would happen to her when Scar finally got married and Sue had a child?..maybe she would move to a smaller apartment, a condo in the busy side of the city where the noise would make her forget about her relationship status and face other part of her life like a job and the rest.

She really needed to move on, and she might move to the city soon most especially if her job permitted her to.

Life was so different from what it had been back in high school. She acting like a boy but loving Ryan like a girl loved a guy. She wanting to have her own way all the time but never really got it.

Even the wish drama didn’t give her chance to, rather it made it worse and Mil had told her making wishes had a price.

The memory of the pretty brunette holding unto Ryan’s arm in the party disrupted her thoughts again and she knew

“hey…’’

Rea jumped at the sudden intrusion of her thoughts and saw a young man strolling towards her but not close to her.

“hi.’’ She pulled the jacket closer.

“it’s pretty cold out here isn’t it?’’

“Yeah, it is.’’ She mumbled and looked away not sure of what to say now that she wasn’t alone anymore.

“I’m Michael Bailey by the way. A friend of the family.’’

“Hello Michael.’’ She forced a smile

“You know you shouldn’t be out here’’

‘’sometimes I like to be alone.’’

“and that excludes me?’’

She shrugged. She was in one of those moods where she got too numb to say anything reasonable and so watched life unfold before her face. Tomorrow morning, she might slap herself that she hadn’t made any move or made nice conversation with the goodlooking stranger standing before her.

So why not give him a chance, who knows, it may lead to something. And if she wasn’t leaving the party now while Ryan was still obviously hanging around, then she had to do things that would take her mind off him

“Sue told me you two attended the same school and I’d need an extra pair of sneakers to keep up with you.’’

So this must be the guy Sue talked about. Good job girlfriend!!

She laughed realizing he was trying to create an atmosphere for the both of them. Wait till she had her hands on the woman!! If not for her present state.

“well, what can I say? It runs in the family.’’ She pulled her hair back behind her ear in the same old fashioned way. “and I have my moods and moments.’’

“and does your present mood mind leaving this place and going someplace else?’’

She sighed and looked around, knowing this was a deliberate invitation for a beginning.

“why not.’’

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When Rea woke up the next morning, she looked disheveled and a recurrent one sided headache nagging at her.

When she glanced at the time, she jerked from the bed and screamed

Oh goodness, this was going to be a bad day.

She hurriedly rushed to the bathroom and took a quick brush and shower and hurried out to glance at her phone. Just as she had predicted, missed calls stared back at her.

She didn’t bother checking Scarlett knowing fully well she would have found her way to school unlike her who had ruined the only chance she had with her new date.

A stupid stupidimmature girl who ruined every chance she had with men.

She was probably going to end up old and alone if she continued like she was competing for a razzy award.

Now she had even ruined her chances with him, she couldn’t hate herself more.

She wondered how she got home in the first place, most definitely, she didn’t drive herself.

And then she had gotten drunk due to everything including Ryan, her life in the past and she wondered how pathetic she would have sounded talking about her Christian life and how she feels bad drinking.First time she drank and her life was getting ruined. Alcohol never did her good and it was never going to do her good in future. She had to keep reminding herself about that.

She desperately needed aspirin.

She didn’t even bother getting coffee but bought one for herself on the way while trying as much as possible to do her hair in a neat bun when stuck in traffic.

When she finally got to work and realized she wasn’t as late as she ‘d initially proposed, that was only when she could relax weakly into her chair.

The adrenaline drive had phased out and she was back to her normal self.

image source: http://www.wattpad.com

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